Every Sailor Moon Monster of the Week, ranked by hotness: The Top 10

10. TODEN

Daimon, Ep 99

Toden, a Daimon from Sailor Moon episode 99. She has pale, slightly greenish skin, and fuchsia hair. She’s wearing a blue train conductor’s uniform and hat, and has wheels attached to her wrists and ankles. Her hat has antennae resembling the electrical contacts for overhead cables, she has a whistle in her mouth, and she has yellow and black striped rail crossing gates coming off her shoulders. She’s posing in front of three twisting sets of train tracks.

Toden now looks a little different. She’s on all fours inside the metal frame of a train carriage that’s speeding along the track. Her hat has been replaced with a train’s destination display, and vertical electrical contacts are extending from her back.

As a trans woman there are certain things I’m predisposed to obsess over. One is monsters, which, yeah, by now I think that’s pretty clear. But what’s even hotter than monsters? PUBLIC TRANSIT. And hell yeah, Toden is an actual train Daimon. Be still my heart.
Dating public infrastructure personified would be great, but Toden can also create train tracks. Imagine sneaking around your city at night and adding whole neighborhoods to the transit system. Would the tracks be up to code? I don’t know! But better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
I wish there were more train monsters, don't you? On an unrelated note, read Magica Riot: Full Bloom.

9. RIKOUKEIDAR

Youma, Ep 29

Rikoukeidar, a Youma from Sailor Moon episode 29. She has light green skin, and a yellow and red undercut swept to one side. She’s wearing a dark purple bathing suit and a monocle.

Rikoukeidar in a long shot, and she’s holding a large conical flask that’s sparking with electricity.

Rikoukeidar is the Youma form of Motoki’s girlfriend Reika, who’s about as heterosexual as a Sailor Moon character can be (which isn’t that heterosexual, but you get my point). So it’s weird that Rikoukeidar is so extremely gay coded. Just look at her. To be fair, I’m not sure if this style of undercut was as associated with queerness then as it is now. Retroactive gayness aside, she’s also a science Youma, so I guess we’d have interests in common.
Her powers include capturing literal lightning in a bottle, as you can see from the sparking conical flask. That’s not something labware does under anything approaching safe and normal circumstances, though if anyone has actually made this happen, it was definitely a German lab and they’re probably very pleased with themselves. I don't know how sold I am on the monocle - is it supposed to be a sign of great intelligence? I mostly associate them with very rich people, and that’s not a Venn diagram with much overlap. That aside, I'm an enthusiastic yes.

8. SCAR

Daimon, Ep 96

Scar, a Daimon from Sailor Moon episode 96. She has pale white skin, and wears a dark blue mask with messy brownish hair. The mask displays a strange, crying face with visible fangs. She’s wearing a red dress that seems to be wrapped around her, and she’s emerging from under a blue sheet.

Now we see Scar’s true form, and she’s actually cute! She has green hair and blue eyes, and very pointed ears. Plenty of monsters have these but they’re very pronounced with Scar. She’s attacking by releasing a ribbon-like coil of fabric from her arm, like the arms in ARMS. Either that last bit made perfect sense to you, or no sense at all.

Scar’s thing is that she has a creepy mask for most of her episode, but eventually she loses it and it turns out… she’s cute! I’m not sure exactly what it is about her maskless design that I love… Maybe it’s that she has kind of a fae-like quality to her.
A lot of Daimons have black star marks somewhere on their bodies, that are the source of their pure heart extraction powers. Scar’s is on her nipple. Like, she fully takes her boob out to use her power. So out of the many Sailor Moon fans in the world… someone has to have this tattoo, right?

7. U-NDOKAI

Daimon, Ep 117

U-Ndokai, a Daimon from Sailor Moon episode 117. She has light blue skin and spiky dark greenish hair emerging from under a backwards red baseball cap. It’s another undercut kind of situation, as we can see that the back of her head is shaved. She’s wearing a white runner’s shirt and dark red bloomers. Also, she has a huge turban shell attached to her back. It’s not really clear how it’s attached, it’s sort of just hanging there.

U-Ndokai is now crouching down and checking on the health of Hotaru. It’s adorable that she did this, but also it turned out to be a super bad idea. She’d have totally got away with whats-his-face’s Pure Heart Crystal if she hadn’t stopped to do a good deed.

Oh my. U-Ndokai is a butch sports gal, which is already enough to put her high on this list, but she’s also a good example of Daimons sometimes being more complex than they look. She’ll suck a guy’s soul out, sure, but she’ll pause her rampage to help a sick child.She’s also got this shell on her back, mainly for pun-related reasons, but it also comes in handy if, for example, the sick child she tries to help turns out to be possessed by an angry and unknowable evil. As someone with a tendency to fret, I’d enjoy dating someone with permanent body armor.

6. U-IKASAMAN

Daimon, Ep 118

U-Ikasaman, a Daimon from Sailor Moon episode 118. She has pale white skin, bright green hair and extremely angular features. She’s also dressed like a queen from a playing card, wearing a robe and crown of red, gold, black and white. She has a very odd expression, like she’s desperate to burst out laughing and trying to stifle it.

A longer shot of U-Ikasaman, who’s now shed the queen outfit. She now has white rabbit ears, and wears a red top with a long purple skirt. This also incorporates a large dice around her waist, and the white base of a game piece below that. She’s wearing large chess pieces as sleeves. She’s also evidently having a lot of fun and I love that for her.

Okay, so her appearance is a little unusual. But U-Ikasaman has so much going for her. She’s funny, she’s a pacifist, and she’s a huge nerd. Created when Mimete failed to follow SOP while loading the Daimon oven, U-Ikasaman just wants to hang out and play games. She's clearly the ideal partner for anyone who also enjoys games. Now, her one flaw is that she’ll quickly resort to cheating if she’s losing, but given that most of the monsters on this list are outright murderous, this feels like a minor flaw. Just stick to co-op games and you’re good.

5. BIRIBIRI YAROU

Lemures, Ep 160

BiriBiri Yarou, a Lemures from Sailor Moon episode 160. He has light green skin and long, pink and yellow hair. He’s wearing a kind of black latex bodysuit that covers everything aside from his face, but he’s also a merman so maybe this is just his skin? He has a fish tail instead of feet, and pink fins. He’s wearing a metal helmet with antenna, holding a microphone, and kind of lounging in mid-air.

BiriBiri Yarou has undergone an alarming transformation. His body below the waist is now a huge cartoon catfish. Like, really, really big. This should horrify me but the rest of him is just so hot, I guess I can overlook it.

Truly the dark horse candidate in this Top 10 is this merman catfish twink. My relative unfamiliarity with the Lemures meant that I kind of forgot about this guy, but… damn. The bodysuit, the two tone hair, the 1950s B-movie headgear… I love this whole look.
Now, you may wonder, does he have any flaws? Well… sometimes his lower body turns into a giant cartoon catfish. And when I say giant, I’m talking like 15 feet long. This may present practical concerns depending on his level of control over the transformation, but life is all about compromises.

4. UDERING

Droid, Ep 77

Udering, a Droid from Sailor Moon episode 77. She has brown skin and long purple hair. She’s wearing a white wrap skirt and a yellow top and headband. She’s also wearing a bunch of bracelets, and I usually don’t mention stuff like this but it’s kind of her whole deal. She also pink, yellow and blue shapes painted on her face.

It feels like cheating to have Udering this high on the list, given how human she looks. It’s between her, Atsugessho and the twink brothers, all Droids, as to who's the most human-looking monster... but I just adore that aggressively 1980s makeup. She also appreciates a good pun, so that’s something we have in common right there. They’re mostly ring-based puns, admittedly.
Possibly the last of the “running an evil fake business” monsters, her thing was holding classes on making… basically friendship bracelets, though they were referred to as “promise rings” and boy does that have a different connotation in America. Although chastity is a popular kink these days…

3. IRONDAR

Daimon, Ep 105

Irondar, a Daimon from Sailor Moon episode 105. She has red skin and black hair in a flat top style. Well, it’s possible that it’s actually a block of plastic, given that she was presumably created from an iron, and there are two metal prongs sticking out like a plug. She has a purple top, a triangular metal plate over her crotch, and what might be metal steam vents on her shoulders. She also has abs. Like, ABS. Oh my, she is so buff. Love that black lipstick too.

Irondar from further away, and we can see Sailor Moon, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Mars and Sailor Venus being blasted away from her. We can also see more of the iron-like aspects of her design, mainly the handles on her shoes and butt.

Yeah, you forgot about Irondar, didn’t you? She appears only briefly in flashback and isn’t even fully animated, but oh my, does she leave an impression. I’m actually shocked she’s so underused. Like, you made a Grace Jones Daimon then just used her for a flashback? I’m not kidding, by the way, she really does have a Grace Jones kind of look to her, especially when you look at how she presented herself on her album covers in the early eighties.
And look… I’m the first to admit I have a type. I’d call it “Women who could kick my ass,” but everyone on this list could kick my ass, as could a probable majority of the world’s population, so let’s instead call it “Women who could kick everyone’s ass.” I just really like muscles, okay?

2. CENICIENTA

Daimon, Ep 101

Cenicienta, a Daimon from Sailor Moon episodes 101 and 102. Her skin is green glass, her eyes are red, and she has a gold helmet, shoulder guards and chest armor, making her look like the sexy Halloween version of a centurion. She’s also very buff, and she has a black star mark on her bicep.

Cenicienta again. She’s alarmed because one of her hands has broken off and she’s checking her warranty. In the background there’s a group of Sailor Guardians that’s probably really confusing if you don’t know the particular circumstances of this episode.

When I began this list, I thought Cenicienta would be the winner. She’s buff, she does comedy and menace equally well, she’s buff, she has a hilariously cutesy voice given her appearance, and she’s buff. As it turned out, she just missed out on the top spot, but I love this Daimon.
I’ve been waiting for an Amazon, and here she is. She’s admittedly made of glass, a trait more commonly found in Medieval French kings, but while I expressed concern earlier in this list that a violin monster might be fragile and expensive to repair, Cenicienta is canonically under warranty.

1. DUMBULL

Droid, Ep 63

Dumbull, a Droid from Sailor Moon episode 63. She has light green skin and an orange spiked mullet. Yeah, I’m as surprised as you that the only monster with a mullet ended up at number one. She’s wearing a blue and red wrestling outfit with a purple cape and black belt. She also has red symbols painted on her face.

Dumbull is stepping on you, the viewer. You’re welcome.

Snatching the top spot away like it was a title belt, the hottest Sailor Moon Monster of the Week is the heel wrestler, Dumbull. I’m especially fascinated by the heels of Japanese women’s wrestling, and Dumbull is named for two of them, Dump Matsumoto and Bull Nakano. Both of these women are interesting, but if you go looking for pictures of Matsumoto in full wrestling mode, do be advised that some of the iconography she used to appear scary and edgy is, uh, kind of questionable to say the least.
The Top 3 consists entirely of buff women, and Dumbull probably comes out on top because she’s the meanest. I would, in fact, like to be stepped on, and stepping on people is literally Dumbull’s primary method of attack. Hell yeah. In retrospect, there really was no other way this could go.