Every Sailor Moon Monster of the Week, ranked by hotness: 166 - 131

166. SAILOR COP

Phage, Ep 182

Sailor Cop, a Phage from Sailor Moon episode 182. He resembles a robotic American cop with a sailor collar. Naturally he’s pointing a gun at someone.

He’s a cop. Bottom of the list. No question.
Okay, he does have some design elements I like. The Robocop reference is nice, and I like the idea that an artist, faced with the task of making a cop scarier, decided “Let’s make him as much like an American cop as possible.”

165. PROTODAIMON

Daimon, Ep 106

The Protodaimon, a Daimon from Sailor Moon episode 106. It’s a giant red maggot-like thing with glowing red eyes, sharp teeth and waving tentacles. It’s not pretty.

Seen in a flashback to Haruka’s awakening as Sailor Uranus, this seems to have been an early experiment in producing Daimons from human hosts. It’s a horrifying eldritch thing with a lot of teeth and tentacles. It is also marginally more attractive than a cop.

164. DERELLA

Youma, Ep 7

Derella, a Youma from Sailor Moon episode 7. She’s made of greenish glass and wearing a pink off the shoulder dress. She has fangs and a demonic-looking face, and is mostly bald aside from a blonde ponytail. She’s leaning over a bathtub, and the arm of a victim now encased in glass is visible.

Oh god no. The early season 1 monsters were definitely the creepiest, but this demonic thing is by far the most unsettling of them. She’ll sneak up on you in the shower, cocoon you in glass and then steal your identity. Absolutely the stuff of nightmares.

163. KIGAN

Youma, Ep 10

Kigan, a Youma from Sailor Moon episode 10. She’s emaciated with greenish-brown skin and scraggly red hair, and generally looks like a zombie. She’s wearing a black sleeveless bodysuit, with what looks like arm warmers.

A lot of Jadeite’s Youma have a kind of corpse-like look to them, and it’d be another ten years before the first Shantae game postulated that zombies could be cute. Kigan here is notable for driving a bus and basically nothing else. It was an evil bus though.

162. THE LONDON YOUMA

Youma, Ep 42

The London Youma from Sailor Moon episode 42. A vivid green demon thing with giant fangs and spikes on his shoulders and the top of his head. One of his arms ends in a large blade. He’s holding a crying child hostage.

Sailor V encountered this guy during the time she went to London to wildly overreact to an unrequited crush. Obviously he’s ugly as hell but I’d argue the more disturbing thing here is the prospect of Cockney Youma. It seems like maybe there wasn’t much thought put into this design, but honestly it’s the least of my problems with this episode.

161. GUM MARIO

Lemures, Ep 140

Gum Mario, a Lemures from Sailor Moon episode 140. He looks like a red and yellow beach ball with a face, and a black spade symbol on his forehead. He is just a ball, which is weird and unsettling, but nothing compared to what comes next.

Bloody hell. So now Gum Mario has adopted what might charitably be described as a human form. He doesn’t have a distinct head, it’s more just a bump on top of his torso, so his face is kind of on his upper chest. He’s got his arms wrapped around his legs, which are tucked into his chest. Oh, and his feet don’t appear to be fully inflated. He has one of Tuxedo Mask’s roses stuck in what I suppose you might call his head.

So there are three Lemures that look like balls but can kind of inflate themselves into a more human form. Maybe this is someone’s thing, but to me this guy’s human-ish form is deeply disturbing, while his ball form reminds me of Curious Orange from This Morning With Richard Not Judy. Look it up if you dare.

160. MORGA

Youma, Ep 1

Morga, a Youma from Sailor Moon episode 1. A withered zombie-like figure with brown wavy hair. She has black sclera, yellow irises and a red mark on her forehead, and wears a black dress. Pretty creepy stuff, but she does look genuinely happy to be here.

Sailor Moon’s very first monster is one of the few to be introduced in the manga, so we have Naoko Takeuchi to thank for this abomination. Honestly, this design makes sense considering her penchant for drawing her characters as rotting corpses. Yeah, what was up with that?

159. GAROBEN

Youma, Ep 8

Garoben, a Youma from Sailor Moon episode 8. She has vivid red skin and black hair styled to somewhat resemble a mortarboard. She also has fangs, a purple mark on her forehead and extremely long eyebrows, and one of her arms is currently shapeshifted into a large axe.

She’s big, she’s red, she wants energy from stressed-out gifted kids, and she’s not above turning her arm into an axe and beheading them if it’ll expedite the process. Mind you, she was the first Youma to have a few comedic bits amid the attempted murder, so there’s that.

158. JUMEAU

Youma, Ep 18

Jumeau, a Youma from Sailor Moon episode 18. She’s pale with medium length dark hair and resembles an unfinished doll base. Her joints aren’t connected, so her upper and lower arms are just sort of floating in place. She’s in the process of diving through a window. I remember they beat her because Sailor Mercury determines that some specific bit of her body is her weak spot, which felt like a cop-out to me.

Certain monsters are low on this list because they incorporate some element that I just find disturbing. And yeah, “creepy possessed dolls” happens to be one of them. Beware of Jumeau’s razor sharp limbs, which are somehow sharp despite the lack of any visible sharp edges.

157. KARAKURIKO

Lemures, Ep 128

Karakuriko, a Lemures from Sailor Moon episode 128. She resembles a jointed doll, and her upper and lower torso are disconnected from each other, meaning her upper body is floating freely. She is posed like she’s ready to strike.

Karakuriko scuttling along the floor on all fours. Kind of. Her arms are now disconnected from her body and her legs are bent at weird angles. This is fine.

Karakuriko might actually be creepier than Jumeau, but I ended up ranking her one place higher because her version of the “modular body parts” concept is more interesting, and the more overtly mechanical design is cool. Albeit, you know, in a horrifying way.

156. MISTER MAGIC PIERROT

Lemures, Ep 149

Mister Magic Pierrot, a Lemures from Sailor Moon episode 149. He resembles a short, jovial clown in blue and yellow, with white and blue face paint. He has whiskers like a cat, not sure what’s going on there. His shirt has a creepy face on it. He’s wearing the white gloves beloved by many a cartoon character, but they have black claws protruding from them. His weapon is a conical party hat that he uses to launch bombs.

Mister Magic Pierrot in extreme closeup, with only half of his face visible. He has murder on his mind.

You know what’s right alongside possessed dolls on the list of creepy shit Xan doesn’t like? Fuckin’ clowns. Sailor Moon has three clown monsters and this is the worst of them. He’s one of the few monsters to have straight up killed someone.
Literally, he killed Hawk’s Eye and shattered Usagi’s Dream Mirror. The latter got fixed, so I’m not sure what losing your Dream Mirror does to you, but I’m pretty sure it’s not good. By the way, they never interact on screen but I’m pretty sure this guy works for PallaPalla. We see what looks like her silhouette sending out the blue ball that contains him. And honestly, this psychopath is absolutely on-brand for PallaPalla.

155. JIJI

Youma, Ep 30

Jiji, a Youma from Sailor Moon episode 30. He has a red face and a white mane of hair, bringing to mind both an oni and a shisa. His eyes are yellow and have very noticeable strabismus. He has a black, hairy, ape-like body and his posture is hunched over. Also for some reason he’s wearing a red neckerchief. Maybe there’s some significance to that, but if not it’s kind of a confusing design element.

So it turns out Rei’s grandpa is a reincarnation of an ancient monster, and when you wake that monster, this is what you get. This… demon-lion-ape thing. Would now be a good time to mention I’m also afraid of monkeys?

154. DUMMY

Lemures, SuperS special

Dummy, a Lemures from the Sailor Moon SuperS special. He’s a small, clown-like ventriloquist dummy, so that’s two things I find unpleasant right there. He’s being held by a man wearing a dinner jacket, with the symbol of the Dead Moon - a black circle within a white circle - on his forehead. The Dummy is holding a decorated bottle.

This ventriloquist dummy tried stealing Sailor Uranus’ energy, using apocalyptic threats to keep Sailor Neptune away, but he sorely underestimated the power of lesbianism. Too silly to be genuinely sinister, but he’s still a possessed doll and I’m still not okay with that. Sailor Uranus full-on explodes him, it’s very satisfying.

153. AKAN

Youma, Ep 32

Akan, a Youma from Sailor Moon episode 32. He’s big, red and muscular, with fried shrimp-like adornments on his head and shoulders. His face also kind of resembles that of a crustacean, and he overall has the feel of a monster of the live action rubber suit variety. He has a handful of green balls.

So he’s a tokusatsu actor transformed into a vaguely shrimp-based kaiju who throws balls of green algae? I dunno, the theming for this one is all over the place, but the end result is not pleasing to the eye, nor is it kosher.
By the way, the green things he throws are marimo: balls of green algae, specifically the species Aegagropila linnaei. Sometimes they’re called moss balls, but they’re not moss. I’m not sure how critical that information is, but I wanted to pass it along just in case. They’re found in Lake Akan in Hokkaido, which I guess is why he’s using them as a weapon.

152. BALM

Youma, Ep 2

Balm, a Youma from Sailor Moon episode 2. She has green skin, wild hair that’s forming tentacles, and yellow snake-like eyes. She’s wearing a lilac robe, and… that’s it. Not a lot to this one.

You’ve got that intentionally grotesque season 1 monster aesthetic, but also… there just isn’t much to this design, which is the case for a few of the earliest monsters. She does have prehensile hair, but it’s been done better elsewhere, including other episodes of this show.

151. IGUARA

Youma, Ep 5

Iguara, a Youma from Sailor Moon episode 5. She’s an anthropomorphic lizard, with blue scales on most of her body and a lighter patch running down her front. She has long brown hair and a large tail.

How do we feel about big lizards? Big lizards that command a child army? I’ve never been much of a scalie so I don’t feel super qualified to assess this one, but I feel like I’ve seen cuter kaiju-sonas than this. Not visible here is the obvious glowing weak spot on her back/tail, like she’s a video game boss or something.

150. BUNBO

Youma, Ep 27

Bunbo, a Youma from Sailor Moon episode 27. Ugh, how do I even describe this guy? He’s enormous, stocky, mostly white and green, and patterned like a protractor. His arms look like Swiss Army knives, but with compasses instead of knives. The drawing kind of compasses, not the navigation kind. Do people still use those? Anyway, he’s chasing Sailor Mercury.

We’re definitely moving away from the horrifying and toward the perplexing. This guy’s themed after… math stationery? Maybe it’s a reference to him being reincarnated into a high-achieving student, but this feels like a design that a tokusatsu show would resort to in like season ten.
Not pictured is Bunbo’s other form. Yeah, he has two forms but one is just, like, a bit skinnier and that’s it. No idea what the point of that was.

149. JAKOKU

Droid, Ep 75

Jakoku, a Droid from Sailor Moon episode 75. He’s a pale figure dressed in a long purple cloak, but you can only see his arms and the top part of his face. He’s holding a scythe, though it’s cut off in the picture.

Blue Oyster Cult said Don’t Fear the Reaper, but what about fucking the reaper? On that topic, they’re suspiciously silent. Here’s my issue: He has a face and arms, but is there anything else under that cloak? Call me shallow, but I prefer my partners to have a torso.
You know, I’m not even sure if this guy exists in any physical sense. The Black Moon just sort of projected him into Chibiusa’s dream. So should he even count as a Droid, really? Eh, I dunno, but the guide books call him one so that’s what I’m going with. He’s the least hot of them by a long, long way.

148. KURUMIWARIO

Lemures, Ep 145

Kurumiwario, a Lemures from Sailor Moon episode 145. He’s a wooden nutcracker doll with green curly hair styled like an 18th century wig. He’s wearing a red shirt with puffed sleeves and a huge white collar.

Oh good, another possessed doll. This Pinocchio-ass nutcracker weirdo isn’t the creepiest of the bunch, but he’s still far from appealing. As you can see, he’s prone to dancing around in a way that is, shall we say, not heterosexual. I’m queer so I’m allowed to say that. Also he seems to be made of wood, which would be a dealbreaker even if he was the hottest man on Earth. Just saying… splinters.

147. BIPIERROT

Cardian, Ep 56

Bipierrot, a Cardian from Sailor Moon episode 56. She has clown makeup and curly pink hair under a spiked yellow hat. Her outfit is green and ruffled with a large red bow, and she’s holding a white umbrella with a pink swirl pattern.

Look, I’m working on getting over my fear of clowns (mostly by playing Balatro) but clowns will never be hot. I resent this attempt to make a clown hot.
I just don’t get sexy clowns as a concept, at all. I’m never one to kinkshame, but for most kinks, even if I don’t have them, I can at least understand them on a conceptual level. But not this. For me, trying to comprehend the sexy clown thing is like trying to hear colors. I remember when they announced Lola Pop for ARMS, and people were like, “She’s a hot clown,” and I think the main thing I felt was just dismay. Still, if you disagree and you like this Cardian, you might be in luck no matter what your gender is. She is, after all, a bi pierrot.

146. MURID

Youma, Ep 11

Murid, a Youma from Sailor Moon episode 11. She resembles a mechanical doll with slightly greenish skin, and she’s a bit chubby. She has long pink hair with a red and black tiara, and wears a red and black dress with a ruff collar. She’s holding an apple which she uses for evil purposes.

The last of the doll monsters, and while they do play up her creepiness in the episode, there are a few things in her favor. One is the whole Victorian goth aesthetic, which I appreciate. Plus I don’t often get to see a monster with my body type. It’s just nice to feel seen.

145. SHUFFLE FURUO

Lemures, Ep 147

Shuffle Furuo, a Lemures from Sailor Moon episode 147. He’s dressed like a king from a playing card, and his face is painted white but with a large black spade symbol that covers most of it. His sleeves and pants are blue, but most of his body is covered with a giant playing card which he’s wearing like a signboard. Oddly, it’s the ace of spades despite him being a king. Or possibly a jack, I guess. He’s posing in a physically unlikely way against an abstract background of black, white and red.

Shuffle Furuo again, but this time he’s shuffling cards and visibly weeping, possibly after seeing his placement on this list.

Listen, Furuo. We need to talk about the makeup. I know you’re going for a Kiss thing, but this is very close to being a hate crime. Keep this up and you’ll never be prime minister of Canada.
Sorry, what?
Ah. Well, regardless, you should still lose the makeup.
...You know, I actually don’t hate the playing card concept in theory - there’s another playing card monster way higher on this list. This is just the worst implementation of it imaginable.

144. SAILOR AMUSE

Phage, Ep 190

Sailor Amuse, a Phage from Sailor Moon episode 190. He’s a fat, clown-like guy with completely white skin. He’s wearing an ill-fitting pink shirt that shows off his bellybutton, and green and yellow striped pants with red clown shoes. He has a sailor color and is holding colorful balloons.

So, when you remove a person’s Star Seed, they become a Phage: a kind of pseudo-Sailor Guardian whose appearance and behavior is heavily influenced by that person’s self-image. My point is, I’d feel pretty bad if I lost my Star Seed and was turned into this, probably the least intimidating monster ever. He's just sort of pitiful and I feel bad for him.

143. GESEN

Youma, Ep 25

Gesen, a Youma from Sailor Moon episode 25. He looks like a red-suited tokusatsu-style character, but with a skull-like mask, and some mechanical adornments on his suit, including a joystick on his knee. He is in the process of firing two cords from a device on his wrist.

I realize that a foundational principle of Sailor Moon is “Masks are hot,” but there are exceptions. Looks aside, I just don’t think this guy would be a good cuddler. Especially with that joystick sticking out of his knee.
You know, I just realized that this story arc also has an actual tokusatsu performer who gets transformed into a Youma, and he ends up looking less tokusatsu than this guy. Huh.

142. TAIYAN

Daimon, Ep 98

Taiyan, a Daimon from Sailor Moon episode 98. Hoo boy. Imagine a woman made entirely out of gray rubber, with long pink hair and solid orange eyes. Now imagine she has a large tire wedged way up where her crotch should be, and also one of her boobs is a headlight.

It’s Taiyan again, but now there’s two of them. Just what we wanted, yay. But now, their bodies aside from their heads have fully transformed into giant tires.

Girl, who did your bottom surgery?
So Taiyan can split herself in two, which is cool. But even speaking as a trans woman, for whom the definition of sex is increasingly nebulous, I just wonder how intimacy would work, what with the headlight boob and… tire vagina. I don’t think there’s anything I can come up with here that can top the mere description of what’s going on in these images. Somehow both of the Taiyans are able to become giant wheels and roll around, which doesn’t make sense as their heads always remain in the same position in front of the wheel, whereas in reality they should be constantly running over their own heads. It should come as no surprise that the show doesn’t really address this.

141. PAKUPAKU YAROU

Lemures, Ep 159

PakuPaku Yarou, a Lemures from Sailor Moon episode 159. So, there’s this guy. And he’s got a very pale white face, and he’s wearing a black bodysuit and red flippers, and he’s wedged into the back of a giant red fish. He’s just lying flat on his stomach and it’s like he’s partially phased into this fish. The fish is currently destroying a boardwalk.

It’s PakuPaku Yarou again. Now the fish is speeding through the water.

I’m not sure what’s even happening here. He’s… half-phased into the back of a giant fish? It’s very unclear whether this guy is somehow in control of it or just along for the ride. When the fish swims, the guy embedded in its back moves his arms and legs like he’s swimming, but he doesn’t have any direct contact with the water so this shouldn’t actually achieve anything. Trying to explain this monster is like experiencing a fever dream written by Chris Morris. In any case, I can’t really see a relationship with this guy working. I’d soon get sick of every date being at the swimming pool.

140. MITSUAMI

Youma, Ep 36

Mitsuami, a Youma from Sailor Moon episode 36. She has a gray, vaguely robotic-looking face, and a red body with enormous shoulders. Her hair is orange and frizzy with sideburns, and styled into four rigid pigtails that are sticking out from her head. Her arm is a giant electric razor.

A bunch of hairdressers fused together become Mitsuami, who inexplicably has the worst hair I’ve ever seen. She’s at least an entertaining monster with her weaponized hairdressing equipment and all, but yeah. I do not find this visually appealing. It’s also really weird that she’s made of a bunch of people fused together. She’s the only Youma to work like that.

139. SAILOR TEACHER

Phage, Ep 177

Sailor Teacher, a Phage from Sailor Moon episode 177. He has pale lilac skin and green hair spiked into a mortarboard-esque style. He’s wearing a white lab coat with a sailor collar and red tie, plus pink pants and a white Tuxedo Mask-style mask over his eyes. He also has a large pencil behind his ear and blackboard dusters on his shoulders. He’s flexing what is probably meant to be one of those metal telescoping rods that lecturers use to point to stuff.

His deal is “What if your worst teacher came after you with a car aerial?” and he’s neither hot, nor especially monstrous. I guess you could say this of other Phage, but it’s just hitting me how this is just a guy painted lilac. It’s like he’s cosplaying himself.

138. SAILOR DJ

Phage, Ep 189

Sailor DJ, a Phage from Sailor Moon episode 189. He’s a shiny metal man with CD adornments on his head and knees. He’s wearing a visor that obscures his eyes, and he has a microphone on his head, plus microphone shoulder pads and a red sailor collar. There is a yellow walkman on his belt, and his upper chest appears to be a yellow tape deck. He’s flinging CDs.

It’s probably because I’m British, but I hear “Radio DJ monster” and my mind goes to some pretty dark places. This guy seems relatively wholesome though, a shiny CD man whose whole vibe screams “It is exactly 1996.” Behold, the man of the future. Not nearly as repellent as he could have been.

137. DARUMA

Daimon, Ep 105

Daruma, a Daimon from Sailor Moon episode 105. She has a pale face and large pointed ears, with a red helmet and upper body. Her lower torso is made up of multiple stacked colored discs. Her knees have scowling daruma faces on them, and she has a huge ink brush on her back. Why, for this season, this design is positively restrained. Hold that thought.

It’s Daruma again, but now her head and upper body have been inflated so that they closely resemble an annoyed-looking daruma. She’s now wielding the ink brush, which is glowing slightly.

We now begin a short run of “Object-based monsters who are way too much like that object”. Daruma was created from… well, a daruma, and her first form is so-so. Her second form, where her head is a straight-up daruma… the kindest thing I can say is it’s a bold choice.

136. OCTAVE

Daimon, Ep 93

Octave, a Daimon from Sailor Moon episode 93. Her face, arms and legs are pale lilac, but the rest of her is styled to look like a violin, with strings running down her front from her neck to her crotch. She’s carrying a violin bow.

Octave is a violin monster. Setting aside some violin-related trauma that I don't want to get into specifics about, here are two things you should know about violins: They are very fragile and horribly expensive. I don’t want to make out with something with those properties. The prospect of a repair bill bigger than my annual income is kind of a turn-off.

135. GARIGARI

Lemures, Ep 153

GariGari, a Lemures from Sailor Moon episode 153. She kind of looks like she’s wearing a mascot costume resembling a tube of toothpaste. The Amazoness Quartet Lemures generally have a second face on their torso, and in this case it looks like an image of a tooth with an angry face. She has a tail that’s really a long wire connected to a dental drill.

GariGari is a PallaPalla monster, so you know this is gonna be weird. She’s a living tube of toothpaste with a dental drill tail. I appreciate the writers having the honesty to tell their child audience “Yes, going to the dentist is actually fucking terrifying.”

134. SAILOR DOCTOR

Phage, Ep 185

Sailor Doctor, a Phage from Sailor Moon episode 185. He’s a purple guy with pointed ears wearing surgeon’s scrubs. He has thick glasses and a pink rubber glove on one hand. The other hand has been replaced with a large syringe. He has the usual Phage sailor collar, and a large gold crucifix necklace.

I mean, he’s a weird purple syringe-armed goblin, but for me the biggest dealbreaker is that he’s wearing a crucifix necklace big enough to get him a job as White House press secretary. Weirdly enough, he’s not the only Phage to have a crucifix thing going on. Personally I feel like he should have a giant scalpel arm instead of the syringe. Surely that’s the domain of Sailor Anesthetist.

133. UNDIFFERENTIATED DAIMON

Daimon, Ep 124

The Undifferentiated Daimons from Sailor Moon episode 124. They’re magenta goo monsters in the approximate shape of a woman, with yellow eyes, pointed ears and sharp fangs.

Unfused Daimon eggs can become these feral goo monsters. I dunno, I’ve never really found the goo monster thing hot, but the main issue is that these… maybe aren’t that sapient? I draw the line at dating something that doesn’t have a theory of mind.
So, uh, “Undifferentiated Daimon” is the most common English term for these guys and I kind of… came up with it back in the day. Sort of. In the Japanese guidebooks these Daimons are referred to as “Narisokonai”, roughly translated as “Failure to become”. There isn’t an easy way of expressing that as an adjective, and “Undifferentiated” was the best I could come up with while putting information together for the first Sailor Moon wiki. I also chose it because it’s a cell biology term, and the Death Busters’ thing is magical biotech, so it felt like a term they might actually use. “Undifferentiated” has been annoying English-speaking Sailor Moon fans with its unwieldiness for nearly two decades now. You’re welcome. Incidentally, the term “Ghost Daimon” is apparently used in a book I’ve never seen, so you can also use that if you prefer.

132. RANGY

Daimon, Ep 127

Rangy, a Daimon from Sailor Moon episode 127. She loosely resembles an Undifferentiated Daimon, with a magenta body and yellow eyes, but her form is more solid and she lacks facial features aside from the eyes. She wears a metal helmet with two large spikes roughly resembling ears, and pistons protruding from the back. A few metal cables are wrapped around her body, and her abdomen has been replaced with an oven, which is open and glowing.

Rangy is genuinely one of my favorite monster concepts: The last surviving undifferentiated Daimon found the oven for fusing Daimons with objects… and fused with it. She’s just this directionless, instinct-driven thing. Do I think she’s hot? No, but as unnecessary as her episode feels, Rangy has a great design which is fitting for the final Daimon, incorporating the very machinery that was manufacturing Daimons for most of the season. The Daimon oven sequences were cool, so it’s nice that we get to see it one last time.

131. U-BAULLA

Daimon, Ep 116

U-Baulla, a Daimon from Sailor Moon episode 116. She has pale pink skin, green eyeshadow and black lipstick. She has black sleeves and a barely adequate top that looks like two plant leaves. Her hair is yellow-orange and she has a rose on her head, and another large yellow rose as a skirt.

Sailor Moon has a lot of Grass types in its monster roster, and U-Baulla doesn’t hold up well against the competition. She’s just visually unappealing, and has an oddly generic design in a season where they were really going all-out with the monster designs. I don’t hate this design or anything, it just stands out as bland compared to the bonkers designs of the other Daimons.